How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

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The goal is to make your therapist cry.

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Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

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Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

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If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

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All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

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Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?