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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I had too much to think last night.

Seen just now on Slack:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Trending via Slack:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Just landed via X:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Going viral on Facebook:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Sign me up for the email-writing Olympics, where caffeine, pajamas, and strategic emoji use are my secret weapons! 😂💻☕📧

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

20 shares on Instagram this month:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

57 shares on Discord this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Just shared via WeChat:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Spotted on X:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Just landed via Discord:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Seen just now on X:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨