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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,926

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Trending via Facebook:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Live now on Discord:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Live now on Threads:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Just shared via Instagram:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brows up, communication up! 😂🙌 #LazinessLevel: Expert

eyebrow, eyebrow raise, eyebrows, greet, greeting, humor, i, interaction, laziness, lazy, people, raise, raising, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

0

2 months ago

confusion, going, i, pretty, realization, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, well
Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

0

2 months ago

check, Christmas, elf, festive, holiday, humor, need, pun, remember, shelf
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

0

2 months ago

back, back out, humor, late, people, personality, relationship, surprise, trick, weird
The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

0

2 months ago

birth, birth preparation, breathing, breathing exercise, child, course, exercise, humor, once, parenting, preparation, puberty
You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

0

3 months ago

dog, end, friendship, humor, know, love, loyalty, pet
You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

0

2 months ago

advice, always, dangerous, dangerous thing, doing, helmet, humor, politics, safety, should, talking, thing, things, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Broadcasted on X:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨