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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Just landed via Threads:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Spotted on Twitch:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Live now on Facebook:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Trending via Threads:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Broadcasted on X:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about laziness with a humorous eyebrow gesture and casual vibe.

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Commentary:
Brows up, communication up! 😂🙌 #LazinessLevel: Expert

eyebrow, eyebrow raise, eyebrows, greet, greeting, humor, i, interaction, laziness, lazy, people, raise, raising, social, social interaction

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19 shares on Twitch this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

55 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

93 shares on Threads this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

85 shares on Slack this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Just shared via Facebook:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Trending via Slack:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Making waves on Instagram:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Going viral on WeChat:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Spotted on Discord:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Trending via TikTok:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

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Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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