Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Just landed via Twitch:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Making waves on Threads:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Live now on TikTok:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Spotted on Instagram:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Live now on WeChat:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Brows up, communication up! 😂🙌 #LazinessLevel: Expert

eyebrow, eyebrow raise, eyebrows, greet, greeting, humor, i, interaction, laziness, lazy, people, raise, raising, social, social interaction

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91 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

49 shares on X this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on Threads:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Shared recently on Twitch:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Trending via Twitch:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Breaking via Messenger:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just landed via Threads:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Trending via Facebook:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Spotted on TikTok:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Trending via Snapchat:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨