Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Trending via Pinterest:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Breaking via X:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Going viral on Snapchat:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Seen just now on Slack:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Making waves on TikTok:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Making waves on TikTok:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Brows up, communication up! 😂🙌 #LazinessLevel: Expert

eyebrow, eyebrow raise, eyebrows, greet, greeting, humor, i, interaction, laziness, lazy, people, raise, raising, social, social interaction

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63 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

48 shares on Discord this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Breaking via Telegram:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Trending via Threads:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨