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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Just shared via Slack:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Spotted on Discord:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Broadcasted on X:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Playful quote about daily coffee limits, humorously questioning if eight cups is OK.
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Commentary:
Counting coffee in single digits feels too modest. I'm sure it's just an infinite loop with extra pep! ☕️😄🔄

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

17 shares on X this month:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Breaking via YouTube:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Going bananas on Slack:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Trending via Facebook:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Just landed via Slack:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Live now on Slack:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

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