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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

18 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Just shared via Threads:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Freshly posted on X:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Trending via Snapchat:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Just landed via Telegram:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Making waves on Slack:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

6 months ago

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: should you reveal your inner genius or just embrace your idiocy right from the start? 🤔 Maybe it's best to sprinkle a little bit of both and let the surprise unfold naturally! After all, life is way more amusing when you can laugh at yourself! 🤪 #EmbraceTheIdiotWithin"

advice, date, dating, dating advice, honesty, humor, idiot, know, let, love, new, new love, relationship, should, soon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

18 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Just shared via Reddit:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Shared recently on Threads:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just landed via Reddit:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Spotted on Reddit:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Just shared via Telegram:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Seen just now on Discord:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Just shared via Reddit:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

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