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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Trending via TikTok:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Seen just now on Facebook:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Breaking via Discord:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Live now on Pinterest:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Just landed via Discord:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Going viral on Telegram:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

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Commentary:
Looks like I'm packing emotional baggage 🚚😅✈️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

17 shares on Facebook this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

14 shares on Facebook this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Trending via Telegram:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Making waves on WeChat:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Live now on WhatsApp:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Making waves on TikTok:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Making waves on Instagram:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

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