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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Trending via TikTok:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Going viral on Messenger:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"RIP to the bravest man who ever dared to tell a woman to 'calm down' 😂👋 May his memory serve as a cautionary tale for future generations of men everywhere! Farewell, dear sir, you shall be dearly missed… by no one. 🙅‍♂️"

am, calm, calm down, communication, goodbye, guess, humor, i, just, man, misunderstanding, relationship, told, woman

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People should come with warning labels.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Spotted on Facebook:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Going viral on Slack:

Life is weird and then you die.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

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