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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Going bananas on X:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Making waves on Reddit:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Breaking via Facebook:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Making waves on Discord:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, now Pharrell owes me an explanation for turning my frown upside-downside! 🎶😅

am, distress, happy, hit, humor, i, intended, irony, listening, music, pharrell, Pharrell Williams, smash, song, time, truly, understanding, williams

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

0

2 months ago

case, Christmas, cookie, different, holiday, humor, joke, just, nakey, playful, Santa, sleeping, tonight, type, wants
It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

0

2 months ago

amazing, birthday, celebration, dentist, family, feel, friends, humor, love, lovers, smoothie, yoga
“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, describe, humor, i, irony, me, personality, response, self-description, yourself
The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

0

2 months ago

being, breakfast, cheesecake, dessert, excuse, food, humor, indulgence, morning, only, thing
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

0

2 months ago

day, every, everyday, hell, humor, i, ID, interaction, office, sarcastic, tell, want, work
The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

0

5 months ago

aging, attitude, decision, easier, exit, exit strategy, humor, i, maturity, me, older, say, situation, strategy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

50 shares on Threads this month:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

36 shares on X this month:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

84 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Just shared via Discord:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Going viral on YouTube:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Going viral on Reddit:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Just shared via Instagram:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Live now on Snapchat:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨