Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,819

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Going viral on Instagram:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Breaking via Threads:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Stretch goals… taken a bit too literally! 😂🧘‍♂️

bet, couple, feels, humor, i, incredible, irony, medieval, pain, rack, relief, seconds, sensation, stretcher, torture, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

0

4 months ago

communication, demand, exaggeration, expectation, humor, i, max, minimum, motivation, need, relationship, shake
Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

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2 months ago

appearance, fitness, going, good, gym, health, humor, i, just, motivation, naked, wellbeing
Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

0

2 months ago

blowing, chat, communication, distraction, frustration, group, group chat, humor, nothing, patience, phone, tests, texting
Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization
“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

0

2 months ago

center, humor, life, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-centered
Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

0

2 months ago

accordion, activity, bring, call, decision, fun, fun activity, home, humor, i, learn, me, play, stay, stay home, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

56 shares on Slack this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

65 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

82 shares on X this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Going viral on Twitch:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Just shared via Slack:

They expect me to work at work.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Live now on Reddit:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Just landed via Facebook:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨