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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,072

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Spotted on Instagram:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Spotted on X:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Seen just now on X:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

3 days ago

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Commentary:
When you realize 2006 had it all: low gas prices, flip phones, and no social media chaos. Can we time travel yet? 😂📞⏳

2006, available, date, even, humor, i, new, new year, nostalgia, sarcasm, take, time, used, want, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

2 months ago

conversation, humor, life, relationship, reply, sarcasm, whole, wit
I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

5 months ago

bed, bedtime, cause, going, humor, i, laziness, mischief, night, procrastination, tonight
It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

1 month ago

again, back, frustration, headache, here, i, illegal, nap, should, shut, shut off, sleep, still, take, wake, wake up
We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

1 month ago

able, arms, convenience, funny idea, humor, idea, should, sleep, take, technology
I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

2 months ago

beauty, extra, hair, humor, i, know, pluck, sacrifice, self-care, white
The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

2 months ago

anticipation, before, bench, bench press, exercise, fitness, good, gym, humor, laying, lifting, press, relaxation, right, workout

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Making waves on Telegram:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Going bananas on Discord:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Spotted on WeChat:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

I have more trips planned than I have money.

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

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I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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