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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Making waves on WeChat:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Making waves on Instagram:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Trending via Pinterest:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When you realize 2006 had it all: low gas prices, flip phones, and no social media chaos. Can we time travel yet? 😂📞⏳

2006, available, date, even, humor, i, new, new year, nostalgia, sarcasm, take, time, used, want, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

2 months ago

definitely, humor, moodiness, moody, printers, tech, technology, teenagers, world
Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

2 months ago

daily, daily grind, fatigue, grind, humor, i, just, procrastination, repetition, work, yesterday
Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

2 months ago

cartoons, else, entertainment, humor, husband, kids, lesson, lessons, looney, Looney Tunes, moral, moral lesson, nothing, only, parenting, said, tunes, wants, watch
People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

3 months ago

advice, control, crazy, drive, humor, keys, life, life advice, people
A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

2 months ago

big, bowl, comfort, comfort food, food, fry, fulfillment, good, happiness, humor, love, personal, relationship, snack, substitute
Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

2 months ago

corner, hatred, imagine, just, losing, me, religion, sitting, spotlight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

83 shares on Discord this month:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

77 shares on Discord this month:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Just shared via Messenger:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Making waves on YouTube:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Just shared via Telegram:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Going viral on X:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨