Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Spotted on TikTok:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Going viral on WeChat:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Breaking via Discord:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Going viral on Slack:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Clearly, it's some kind of reverse psychology Jedi mind trick. 🧙‍♂️🔮😂

communication, exactly, hear, hearing, humor, i, irony, know, message, needs, people, phrase, say, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

0

2 months ago

alert, bracelet, ever, humor, i, irony, just, life, life alert, notification, notified, self-deprecation
What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

0

2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

0

2 months ago

adjective, humor, iron, ironic, language, metal, metallic, pun, wordplay
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

0

2 months ago

always, drunk, keep, mouth, shut, sober, teach
Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, doing, ending, even, humor, irony, laziness, lot, love, motivation, plans, procrastination, productivity, things, wanting, yay
The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

0

1 month ago

being, bitch, curiosity, determination, humor, investigation, nosiness, nosy, research, research skill, skill, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

95 shares on X this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

28 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Making waves on Facebook:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Breaking via YouTube:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Just landed via Discord:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Trending via Telegram:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Just shared via Discord:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨