I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

29 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.