Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Just landed via Messenger:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Going bananas on Reddit:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Making waves on Threads:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Just shared via YouTube:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Making waves on X:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a new Olympic sport: sprinting back to the couch! 🛋️🏃‍♂️😂

allowed, anxiety, hour, humor, i, introvert, limit, over, public, social, social anxiety, think, time, time limit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

1 month ago

able, drawer, everyday, everyday life, frustration, fun, humor, keep, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, masher, obstacle, open, playful, playful obstacle, potato, potato masher, sometimes, tool
If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

2 months ago

asleep, driving, exhaustion, fall, humor, nap, pillow, road, road trip, sleep, steering, steering wheel, trip, wheel
My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

2 months ago

conversation, friend, humor, i, joke, me, orange, rhyme, told, wordplay
My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

2 months ago

annoyance, bagpipes, hear, humor, i, music, neighbors, night, noise, shouting
If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

6 months ago

delay, humor, ID, joke, laziness, pill, procrastination, take, tomorrow
All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

2 months ago

back, blink, home, humor, i, life, routine, time, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

68 shares on Slack this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

38 shares on X this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

The problem is I am always the problem.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

64 shares on Threads this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

95 shares on Discord this month:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Broadcasted on X:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Breaking via Facebook:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Making waves on Facebook:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨