Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Shared recently on X:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting my day at 4 p.m. really shows how angelic I am 😇✨ #BlessedProcrastinator #LivingMyBestLife

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, family, follow, give, hack, humor, just, kid, me, parenting, play, sibling, toy, want
That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

0

3 months ago

bourbon, bourbon chicken, chicken, disappointment, food, food disappointment, food taste, good, i, mall, mall food, only, order, same, swear, taste, toothpick
The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

0

2 months ago

activity, building, culture, drinking, exercise, fun, happy, happy hour, hour, i, office, office culture, only, team, team building, work, working
Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

0

2 months ago

dog, humor, i, just, leisure, nature, nothing, relaxing, solitude, sometimes, stand, stare, sun
The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

0

2 months ago

day, donuts, eat, food, good, good day, humor, indulgence, naturally, rain, treat, weather
I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

0

2 months ago

ache, another, bowl, cream, dessert, eating, eating habits, food, food logic, habits, humor, i, ice, ice cream, indulgence, logic, me, stomach, stomach ache, sure, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Reddit this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

94 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

12 shares on Discord this month:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I will never stop being a quitter!

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Making waves on Slack:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Spotted on Facebook:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Going bananas on Slack:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Live now on Facebook:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Live now on Snapchat:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Going viral on Slack:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨