Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Trending via YouTube:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Seen just now on Threads:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Making waves on TikTok:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting my day at 4 p.m. really shows how angelic I am 😇✨ #BlessedProcrastinator #LivingMyBestLife

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

0

2 months ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, billboard, company, decide, ever, humor, i, invest, investment, joke, lottery, secret, signs, tell, wealth, win
Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

0

2 months ago

Canada, Canadian, Canadian Thanksgiving, day, every, everything, food, gravy, holiday, humor, put, same, Thanksgiving, tradition, us
Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

0

3 months ago

activity, forget, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery list, home, i, list, little, memory, organization, shopping, sometimes, take, thing, time, where
“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, conversation, couple, excuse, fighting, food, fry, humor, interrupting, me, moment

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Discord this month:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

63 shares on Slack this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Spreading quickly via X:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Trending via Facebook:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Making waves on Reddit:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Seen just now on Slack:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨