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Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Live now on Discord:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Going viral on Threads:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Live now on Reddit:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Going viral on Slack:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about starting the day late if you're pure of heart, playful and witty.

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Commentary:
Starting my day at 4 p.m. really shows how angelic I am 😇✨ #BlessedProcrastinator #LivingMyBestLife

4, allowed, day, feel, heart, humor, i, late, late start, purity, start, start time, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

21 shares on X this month:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

35 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Milk or be milked.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Trending via Snapchat:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Going viral on X:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Going bananas on Instagram:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

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Activity Log ✨

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

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Activity Log ✨

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨