Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Just landed via Slack:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Going viral on Threads:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Making waves on Instagram:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When even penguins are trendier than me with their tiny baguettes, I start questioning my life choices 🐧🥖😆

actually, AI, al, animal, authenticity, baby, baby penguin, baguette, beret, buy, cute, cute animal video, even, hate, humor, i, know, me, online, Paris, penguin, question, skepticism, tiny, video, videos

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, coworkers, funny observation, i, life, LinkedIn, media, nostalgia, observation, past, past photos, photos, social, social media, work, work life, year’s, years ago
One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

0

2 months ago

animal, great, happiness, humor, joy, life, little, looking, observation, pet, pets, teeth, weird
Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

0

4 weeks ago

2020, Covid, death, died, hell, humor, i, irony, maybe, pandemic
Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

0

2 months ago

anyone, awkwardness, banana, contact, eat, eating, etiquette, eye, eye contact, food, food etiquette, humor, i, social, social awkwardness, while
Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

0

3 months ago

activity, forget, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery list, home, i, list, little, memory, organization, shopping, sometimes, take, thing, time, where
I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

0

2 months ago

asked, conversation, denial, humor, i, introspection, myself, self-reflection, toxic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

50 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Breaking via Discord:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Making waves on Messenger:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Trending via TikTok:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Just shared via YouTube:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨