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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,913

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Going viral on Instagram:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Going bananas on Threads:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Live now on Facebook:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Going viral on Slack:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Comfort zone? What's that? Is it located somewhere between 'Anxiety Avenue' and 'Awkward Alley'? 😅🤷‍♂️ #PerpetuallyUncomfortable"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

0

2 months ago

balance, dilemma, humor, i, lifestyle, live, money, need, priorities, save, saving, spending
Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

0

3 months ago

amusement, chaos, circus, fondness, grown, humor, monkey
Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

0

2 months ago

activity, alcohol, alcohol effects, confidence, drunk, effects, even, feel, fun, fun activity, humor, just, relaxation, relaxed, sexier, sudden, wine
Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

0

2 months ago

along, best, best minute, day, family, getting, happiness, joy, kids, laughing, minute, peaceful, playing, seeing, together, togetherness
I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

0

3 months ago

humor, i, mandatory, mood, morning, quiet, silence, think
When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

0

2 months ago

bad, context, humor, just, mean, right, say, screen, screen time, time, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Discord this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

17 shares on Threads this month:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

98 shares on Discord this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Making waves on Reddit:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Trending via Pinterest:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Just shared via Telegram:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨