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Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Just shared via Messenger:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending via TikTok:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Just shared via Telegram:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Breaking via X:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Trending via Slack:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Freshly posted on X:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about perpetual discomfort and skepticism towards stepping outside comfort zones.

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Commentary:
"Comfort zone? What's that? Is it located somewhere between 'Anxiety Avenue' and 'Awkward Alley'? 😅🤷‍♂️ #PerpetuallyUncomfortable"

always, am, anxiety, comfort, comfort zone, discomfort, even, hate, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, need, people, relatable, relatable quote, self-deprecation, social, social anxiety, struggles, tell, uncomfortable, zone

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

63 shares on Slack this month:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t study, get slutty!

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Trending via YouTube:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Just shared via X:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Just landed via Reddit:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Going viral on Facebook:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

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Activity Log ✨

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨