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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1718 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,880

Funny Quotes Topics

14,700

Funny Quotes Images

11,880

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Making waves on Discord:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Going viral on Messenger:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Shared recently on WeChat:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Going viral on Threads:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like those magic cleaning pills aren't working, but at least your insides are squeaky clean! 🧼😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1718 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,880

Funny Quotes Topics

14,700

Funny Quotes Images

11,880

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Spotted on Slack:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Trending via Telegram:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Just shared via Instagram:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

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