Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Making waves on Slack:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Making waves on Reddit:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Going bananas on Threads:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Live now on X:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Live now on Reddit:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Shared recently on Slack:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Trying to diversify my emotional investments, but sadness keeps yielding high returns! 📉😂🔄

depression, emotional, emotional investment, health, humor, i, invested, investment, irony, joke, manage, mental, mental health, mental health joke, mental struggle, people, sadness, say, stock, struggle

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29 shares on TikTok this month:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

88 shares on Threads this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

27 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Spotted on TikTok:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Spotted on Reddit:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Just landed via Telegram:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

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Activity Log ✨

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨