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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,819

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Just landed via WeChat:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Spotted on Slack:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Just shared via X:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Making waves on Instagram:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Shared recently on Threads:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When they give you that gaze, it's either deep wisdom or they remembered where they hid your snacks! 👀😂

confidence, contact, curiosity, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, know, mystery, people, social, social interaction, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

3 months ago
argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship
Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

1 month ago
burrito, call, comfort, food, good, guy, humor, i, late, late night, me, need, night, over, relaxation, sleep, tuck
There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

4 weeks ago
bus, endless, first try, humor, just, life, love, music, only, pain, show, song, songs, try, wheel, wheels
Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

1 month ago
activity, arts, chi, crazy, exercise, funny activity, humor, martial, martial arts, motion, slow, slow motion, tai, Tai Chi, tantrum, throwing
The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

3 months ago
burnout, energy, even, exhaustion, fatigue, levels, reaching, stress, tiredness
This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

4 weeks ago
anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

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Activity Log ✨

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

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I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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