Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Freshly posted on X:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Live now on Messenger:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Yawning: the universal symbol for "Oops, my brain is on screensaver mode" 😴🧠💬

awkwardness, dominance, humor, i, interaction, me, minute, small, small talk, social, social interaction, someone, talk, yawn, yawning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

0

2 months ago

activity, cobblestone, date, devil, dimly-lit, fun, fun activity, only, street, thing, walk, want, women
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

0

2 months ago

brain, distraction, doing, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, store, technology, used, wonder
Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

0

2 months ago

clothing, fashion, fit, humor, once, over, pants, perfect, perfectly, style
I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, dollars, dream, humor, joke, life, million, missing, money, wealth
The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

0

2 months ago

being, book, details, dumb, dumb shit, humor, important, important details, life, open, open book, overshare, people, person, private, private person, secret, shit, tell, think
You used to calm me on my cell phone!

0

2 months ago

calm, calming, cell, cell phone, communication, humor, me, phone, relationship, technology, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Telegram this month:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

16 shares on Threads this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Freshly posted on X:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Just shared via X:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Spotted on Facebook:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Trending via Snapchat:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Seen just now on X:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Going bananas on Discord:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Breaking via Discord:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨