Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Spotted on Instagram:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Just landed via Threads:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Spotted on YouTube:

Friends with consequences.

Just landed via Twitch:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Just shared via Facebook:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing like the sound of 'Wonderwall' to put out the fire! 🎸🔥🙄"

annoyance, anxiety, awkwardness, bonfire, constant, douchebag, fear, going, guitar, humor, i, live, outdoor, party, show, social, social anxiety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

0

2 months ago

adult, childhood, embarrassment, humiliating, humor, injury, knee, pain, toddler
I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

0

4 weeks ago

am, clothing, difference, fashion, gender, gender difference, humor, i, men, mini, mini skirt, options, outfit, quarter, quarter zip, skirt, why, wish, zip
Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

0

2 months ago

awkward, better, communication, even, fix, humor, oh, said, say, saying, something, uh, weird
Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

0

2 months ago

affect, cheating, credit, credit score, honesty, humor, partner, relationship, score, should, trust
I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

1

2 months ago

casual, celebration, comfort, eve, humor, new, New Year’s Eve, outfit, relaxation, sweatpant, sweatpants, year’s
I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

0

2 months ago

anything, doing, done, getting, humor, job, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Live now on TikTok:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Trending via TikTok:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨