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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Making waves on Reddit:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Trending via Discord:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Making waves on Reddit:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Going bananas on X:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Just landed via Twitch:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Making waves on Facebook:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about a dog’s sudden house patrol, blending humor and pet antics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Fido's secretly moonlighting as an air traffic controller 🐶✈️ 'Excuse me, got a tail-wag emergency in the kitchen!'"

another, distraction, dog, forget, funny moment, house, humor, i, just, left, love, moment, pet, remember, something, stove

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

25 shares on Threads this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Breaking via Pinterest:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Seen just now on Threads:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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