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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Just landed via Reddit:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Just landed via TikTok:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Going viral on Twitch:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Breaking via X:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Just shared via Slack:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Trending via TikTok:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Playful quote about a dog’s sudden house patrol, blending humor and pet antics.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Fido's secretly moonlighting as an air traffic controller 🐶✈️ 'Excuse me, got a tail-wag emergency in the kitchen!'"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on X this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

62 shares on X this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

23 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,763

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just landed via Twitch:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Spreading quickly via X:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Trending via Discord:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Breaking via YouTube:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

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