Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Seen just now on Threads:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Live now on YouTube:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Live now on WhatsApp:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Just shared via Twitch:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Just shared via WeChat:

Netflix & by yourself.

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Unleashing my brainwaves on the internet like a digital confetti cannon! 🎉🧠💥"

communication, humor, i, internet, love, media, posting, problem, sharing, social, social media, thought, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad people, honesty, humor, people, promise, sure, tell, tomorrow
Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

0

5 months ago

awkward, birthday, hate, i, media, notification, social, social media, story, view
Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

0

5 months ago

communication, humor, i, inform, leave, making, panty, party, public, relationship, remote-controlled, tired, vibrating, vibrating panty, want, wear
The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

0

2 months ago

activity, affectionate, best, cuddle, done, fun, fun activity, humor, intimacy, lighthearted, ones, relationship, where
One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

0

2 months ago

convenience, daily, daily life, else, experience, favorite, favorite part, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, life, me, parts, shopping, shopping experience, somebody, someone, someone else
If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

advice, chores, finish, fold, funny advice, homework, household, household chores, laundry, parenting, procrastination, teen, tell, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

81 shares on X this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

95 shares on X this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Spotted on X:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Just shared via YouTube:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Just landed via Telegram:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Broadcasted on X:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Spotted on X:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨