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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,929

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Just landed via YouTube:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Going bananas on Reddit:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Going viral on Twitch:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Trying my best to sound professional while internally screaming 🗣️😅🤯

communication, good, humor, i, love, phrase, sarcasm, saying, shit, sounds, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

1 month ago
age, humor, i, jeans, kid, old, older
Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

1 month ago
AI, before, email, even, full, humor, irony, jobs, mistakes, scam, technology, trying
The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

3 months ago
animal, animal metaphor, bed, chair, clothes, concern, daily, daily routine, day, every, humor, lioness, messy, messy room, metaphor, moves, pile, room, routine
The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

1 month ago
bureaucracy, democracy, government, humor, irony, politics, real, satire, threat
Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

1 month ago
American, American experience, being, dentist, experience, family, good, humor, irony, mom, most, prison, sarcasm, universal
Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

1 month ago
cold, cold day, comfort, comfort food, cozy, day, days, embrace, even, food, food love, found, hot, humor, love, peace, pizza, warm, warm embrace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Just shared via WeChat:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Spotted on X:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

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Activity Log ✨

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

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I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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