Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Trending via YouTube:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Spotted on Telegram:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Breaking via WeChat:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Going viral on Facebook:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Spotted on WeChat:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Trending via Facebook:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Seen just now on Slack:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Trending via Telegram:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Watching new coworkers go from "Let's conquer the world!" to "Is it lunchtime yet?" is the real office drama 😂📉🍕

attitude, burnout, coworker, coworkers, descent, enthusiasm, giving, humor, i, love, motivation, new, office, slow, watch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, conversation, dating, flirting, humor, i, relationships, skills, social, social skills, suck
Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

2 months ago

best, cutting, diagonally, dish, food, horizontally, humor, joke, revenge, sandwich, wit
I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

3 months ago

again, desire, first time, humor, i, irony, meet, past, people, time, walk
Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

15 hours ago

9, communication, hours, humor, leave, money, patience, read, relationship, texting
My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

2 months ago

fading, family, family photo, humor, irony, life, marty, Marty McFly, mcfly, nostalgia, photo, plans, time
The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

2 months ago

acting, humor, lack, me, Pope, religion, wild

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

23 shares on Threads this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

99 shares on TikTok this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

11 shares on Discord this month:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

80 shares on X this month:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Spotted on Facebook:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Just shared via Facebook:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Spotted on Reddit:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Making waves on Threads:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨