I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.