Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,850

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Spotted on Telegram:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Breaking via Telegram:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Making waves on Slack:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Watching new coworkers go from "Let's conquer the world!" to "Is it lunchtime yet?" is the real office drama 😂📉🍕

attitude, burnout, coworker, coworkers, descent, enthusiasm, giving, humor, i, love, motivation, new, office, slow, watch, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, break, decision, drop, drop it like it’s hot, dropping, due, hot, humor, i, it’s, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, reference, song, song reference
I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

0

2 months ago

bed, commute, distance, frustration, humor, i, longing, miss, sleep, where, why, work
I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

0

2 months ago

back, best, best man, dinner, dinner speech, everyone, friend, humor, man, open, second, second wedding, speech, wedding, welcome, welcome back
My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

0

2 months ago

account, artery, balance, bank, bank account, basket, full, humor, laundry, laundry basket, life, life balance, money, priorities, sink, sure
Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

0

2 months ago

complaint, hours, humor, job, just, office, show, sometimes, stress, torture, work
You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, fan, football, humor, kids, parenting, raising, right, rival, sports, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

25 shares on X this month:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Trending via Reddit:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Spotted on Slack:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Just landed via Instagram:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨