Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Breaking via WeChat:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Just landed via YouTube:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just landed via Reddit:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Making waves on X:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to Thanos-snap those follows into thin air! ✨🚶‍♂️💨

breakup, displeasure, frustration, humor, i, last, leave, love, me, media, people, sight, social, social media, time, unfollowing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

0

2 months ago

homebody, homes, house, humor, introvert, leave, never, own, people, separately, unite, want
I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

0

2 months ago

again, catchy, catchy song, entertainment, humor, i, live, nostalgia, sitcom, song, songs, television, theme, theme song, TV, TV sitcom, want, where, world
Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

0

5 months ago

courage, fear, humor, mindset, nothing, once, positivity, situation
Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

0

2 months ago

basket, best, chores, empty, having, humor, laundry, life, moment, satisfaction, seconds
In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

0

2 months ago

autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit
They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, good, humor, idea, movie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on X this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

57 shares on Discord this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

83 shares on Slack this month:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

62 shares on X this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Going viral on Messenger:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Breaking via Facebook:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Making waves on Facebook:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Trending via Telegram:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Trending via Instagram:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Making waves on Threads:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨