I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

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Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

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According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

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I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

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I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

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Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

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Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

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Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

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The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

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Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

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I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.