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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Breaking via Threads:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Shared recently on X:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Just shared via Instagram:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Going viral on TikTok:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Making waves on Messenger:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Trending via Messenger:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Live now on Pinterest:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

2 months ago

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia for simpler times…when "adjusting the antenna" was a high-stakes mission requiring Jedi-like precision and a firm hand! 📺💥 Who needs streaming services when you've got the power of percussive maintenance, am I right? 😉 #ThrowbackThursdays #TheOriginalRemoteControl

chair, clearer, clearer picture, days, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, ol’, picture, remember, smack, technology, things, TV

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

3 months ago

apparently, even, finance, financial, financial problem, going, humor, i, issue, just, life, life struggle, lot, money, money issue, need, personal, personal finance, problem, struggle, through
The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

2 months ago

baby, behavior, child, child behavior, every, formal, formal title, humor, name, parenting, title, toddler
“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

3 months ago

call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, line, phone, service, stay, waiting
“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

2 months ago

am, communication, doing, email, finds, found, hope, humor, i, irony, me, sarcasm, unwell, well, workplace
I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

2 months ago

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

5 months ago

after, break, deserve, email, habit, humor, i, laziness, procrastination, productivity, self-awareness, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, work, work habit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

92 shares on Threads this month:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

79 shares on X this month:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Men make it so easy to hate them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Trending via Telegram:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Live now on Telegram:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Going viral on TikTok:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Going bananas on YouTube:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Going viral on WeChat:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Seen just now on Threads:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Just landed via Instagram:

Being a little freak is my love language.

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