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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Just shared via TikTok:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Spotted on X:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Just shared via Instagram:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Making waves on Slack:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Spotted on TikTok:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Making waves on Telegram:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about nostalgia and old-school TV struggles with a playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia for simpler times…when "adjusting the antenna" was a high-stakes mission requiring Jedi-like precision and a firm hand! 📺💥 Who needs streaming services when you've got the power of percussive maintenance, am I right? 😉 #ThrowbackThursdays #TheOriginalRemoteControl

chair, clearer, clearer picture, days, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, ol’, picture, remember, smack, technology, things, TV

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on X this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Going viral on X:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Making waves on Twitch:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Going viral on Twitch:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

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