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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Live now on Facebook:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Spotted on Discord:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about nostalgia and old-school TV struggles with a playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia for simpler times…when "adjusting the antenna" was a high-stakes mission requiring Jedi-like precision and a firm hand! 📺💥 Who needs streaming services when you've got the power of percussive maintenance, am I right? 😉 #ThrowbackThursdays #TheOriginalRemoteControl

chair, clearer, clearer picture, days, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, ol’, picture, remember, smack, technology, things, TV

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

28 shares on Discord this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Breaking via Slack:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Shared recently on X:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Making waves on YouTube:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Shared recently on YouTube:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Spotted on Slack:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

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