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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Making waves on Telegram:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Spotted on Discord:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Making waves on Facebook:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about nostalgia and old-school TV struggles with a playful vibe.

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Commentary:
Ah, the nostalgia for simpler times…when "adjusting the antenna" was a high-stakes mission requiring Jedi-like precision and a firm hand! 📺💥 Who needs streaming services when you've got the power of percussive maintenance, am I right? 😉 #ThrowbackThursdays #TheOriginalRemoteControl

chair, clearer, clearer picture, days, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, ol’, picture, remember, smack, technology, things, TV

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

71 shares on Threads this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

21 shares on X this month:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Live now on Threads:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Live now on Twitch:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Going viral on Messenger:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Trending via Discord:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Going bananas on Instagram:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Going viral on Messenger:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Making waves on Reddit:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Trending via Threads:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

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