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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with β€œJesus Christ”.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has shared:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has downloaded:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Freshly posted on Discord:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Making waves on Instagram:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Trending via Slack:

β€œWell, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Shared recently on Messenger:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Just shared via X:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Trending via Telegram:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.
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Commentary:
Sounds like your wifi needs a GPS to find the land of milk and honey! πŸ—ΊοΈπŸ“‘πŸ“Ά

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has shared:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has shared:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has viewed:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has viewed:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

β€˜Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on X:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Trending via Pinterest:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Going viral on YouTube:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Just shared via Discord:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Is this art or trash?

Just landed via Reddit:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Trending via Slack:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Spotted on Discord:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

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