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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Going bananas on Threads:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Trending via Snapchat:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

3 weeks ago

Playful text about admitting bacon overindulgence with a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you've gone hog wild! Time to reel it in and give the pigs a break! 🐷🥓😂

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

15 shares on Telegram this month:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

65 shares on Discord this month:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Making waves on Messenger:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via YouTube:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Making waves on Telegram:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Trending via Pinterest:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨