Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Spotted on Instagram:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Making waves on Threads:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Spotted on Instagram:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Trending via WeChat:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Spotted on TikTok:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you've gone hog wild! Time to reel it in and give the pigs a break! 🐷🥓😂

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

2 months ago

culture, drugs, entertainment, humor, influence, peer, peer pressure, pop, pop culture, pressure, show, shows, social, social influence, TV, TV Show, watch
Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

2 months ago

battles, chores, dishwasher, empty, giving, God, humor, just, me, prayer, stop, struggle
The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

2 months ago

before, best, day, hours, humor, i, minutes, mobile, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, spend, time
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

2 months ago

curse, humor, i, interest, last, sarcasm
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

2 months ago

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

76 shares on X this month:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Breaking via TikTok:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Seen just now on X:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Making waves on Messenger:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨