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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

41 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Seen just now on Slack:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Making waves on WeChat:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Making waves on Threads:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Freshly posted on X:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Making waves on YouTube:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

6 months ago

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, back in the good ol' days when "X" wasn't a mysterious variable but a good ol' letter of the alphabet. 😄 Seems like times have certainly changed! Who knew X would evolve from algebra to party lingo? 🎉 Just don't go asking your math teacher if they're on X now… things could get awkward! 😅

asking, communication, different, humor, i, meaning, meant, memory, nostalgia, remember, someone, something, x

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

41 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Just landed via Slack:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Trending via YouTube:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Trending via Threads:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Going viral on TikTok:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Just shared via WeChat:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

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