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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Making waves on Discord:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Live now on Threads:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Spotted on Instagram:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Seen just now on Discord:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

2 months ago

0

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

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Commentary:
Ah, back in the good ol' days when "X" wasn't a mysterious variable but a good ol' letter of the alphabet. 😄 Seems like times have certainly changed! Who knew X would evolve from algebra to party lingo? 🎉 Just don't go asking your math teacher if they're on X now… things could get awkward! 😅

asking, communication, different, humor, i, meaning, meant, memory, nostalgia, remember, someone, something, x

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

0

2 months ago

14th, change, cow, culture, emotional, ending, humor, movie, movie quote, over, parody, pop, pop culture, repetition, sarcastic, still, time, Titanic, yelling
This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

0

2 months ago

change, heat, hell, hot, hot temperature, humor, i, me, realize, survival, survive, temperature, weather
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

0

5 months ago

actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone
I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

0

5 months ago

betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried
Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

0

2 months ago

best, best moment, bra, comfort, day, honesty, humor, moment, relaxation, take
Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

0

2 months ago

guy, hug, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, prison, social, social interaction, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Slack this month:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,297

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Seen just now on Facebook:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Just landed via WeChat:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Seen just now on X:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Making waves on Telegram:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Going viral on YouTube:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

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