Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Trending via Messenger:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Live now on Threads:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Spotted on YouTube:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Spotted on Reddit:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

1 week ago

Witty text highlighting humorous confusion about slang meanings in conversations.

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Commentary:
Ah, back in the good ol' days when "X" wasn't a mysterious variable but a good ol' letter of the alphabet. 😄 Seems like times have certainly changed! Who knew X would evolve from algebra to party lingo? 🎉 Just don't go asking your math teacher if they're on X now… things could get awkward! 😅

asking, communication, different, humor, i, meaning, meant, memory, nostalgia, remember, someone, something, x

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I disagree with my politics.

15 shares on X this month:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

97 shares on Slack this month:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Just shared via Reddit:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Going bananas on Facebook:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Breaking via Facebook:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

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