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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Going bananas on X:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Making waves on Telegram:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Live now on Telegram:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Trending via Snapchat:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Trending via Slack:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Going viral on Telegram:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Freshly posted on X:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Trying to be a morning person is like trying to fold a fitted sheet—best left unsaid and unseen. 🤫😴🛌

daily, daily routine, humor, i, importance, important, introvert, morning, personality, quiet, routine, silence, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

2 months ago

brain, humor, lyrics, memory, music, song, thought
I’m running out of people I like.

2 months ago

dislike, humor, humor quote, i, people, relationships, running, sarcasm, social
I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

1 month ago

absolutely, am, bit, humor, i, irony, motivation, rain, rainy, unstoppable, weather
Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

2 weeks ago

cheater, culture, dating, filled, hook-up, hook-up culture, marry, modern, modern dating, relationship, situationship, world
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

2 months ago

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

2 months ago

bikini, body, body image, cake, choice, dilemma, hand, humor, ID, image, indulgence, love, sexy

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

91 shares on X this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

50 shares on YouTube this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Making waves on Messenger:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Just landed via Threads:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Broadcasted on X:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Just shared via Twitch:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Shared recently on TikTok:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Making waves on Twitch:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

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Activity Log ✨

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

I’m running out of people I like.

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨