Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Live now on YouTube:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Just shared via Discord:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Just shared via YouTube:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Live now on Facebook:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Trending via Messenger:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

2 months ago

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Always on the lookout for life's unexpected appetizers! 🍕👀🍔

eating, every, food, good, humor, i, joke, positivity, situation, try, typo, wait

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Going bananas on TikTok:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Trending via WeChat:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Broadcasted on Threads:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Trending via TikTok:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

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Activity Log ✨

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Keep the laugh going 😂

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨