Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,009

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Just shared via Twitch:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Just landed via Telegram:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Trending via TikTok:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Spotted on Messenger:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Just landed via YouTube:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Always on the lookout for life's unexpected appetizers! 🍕👀🍔

eating, every, food, good, humor, i, joke, positivity, situation, try, typo, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

0

2 months ago

cinema, entertainment, escape, favorite, forget, hours, literally, movie, relaxation, vibe, world
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

0

2 months ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity
These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

0

2 months ago

birthday, calendar, days, Facebook, fun, humor, i, media, online, social, social media, technology
Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

0

2 months ago

anywhere, everywhere, frustration, going, humor, i, irony, observation, people, whenever
Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

0

2 months ago

asking, awkward, before, dental, dental visit, dentist, fingers, humor, humorist, joke, mouth, prank, question, silly, sticking, visit
If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

0

2 months ago

entitlement, fine, humor, love, me, opinion, opinions, rejection, relationship, silly, stupid, want, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

72 shares on Discord this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

39 shares on Messenger this month:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

99 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Breaking via Instagram:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Just landed via X:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Spotted on TikTok:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨