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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Just shared via Discord:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Spotted on Reddit:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Breaking via X:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

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I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, if you were told the ice cream machine was broken at McDonald's, you might want to take that as a compliment in disguise! Who knew getting denied ice cream could be a subtle flattery? 🍦😂 #IceCreamDiscrimination"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Threads this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

63 shares on X this month:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

69 shares on X this month:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

35 shares on X this month:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

90 shares on Reddit this month:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,850

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Trending via TikTok:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Shared recently on YouTube:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Live now on Pinterest:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Going viral on X:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Just landed via Telegram:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

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