Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, if you were told the ice cream machine was broken at McDonald's, you might want to take that as a compliment in disguise! Who knew getting denied ice cream could be a subtle flattery? 🍦😂 #IceCreamDiscrimination"

bad, bad news, broken, broken machine, cream, denial, denied, ever, humor, i, ice, ice cream, job, machine, McDonald’s, news, people, told, ugly, used, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

0

2 months ago

day, eating, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, napping, rest, serving, serving size, size, snack, times, wish
You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

0

2 months ago

allowed, dog, early, early leave, home, humor, leave, lot, miss, missing, missing pet, pet, should, work, workplace, workplace humor
Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

0

2 months ago

comparison, date, empty, excel, full, glass, humor, mindset, optimist, perspective, pessimist
It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, cost, expense, expensive, getting, humor, life, reality, sarcasm
You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

0

2 months ago

allowed, balance, early, enough, humor, leave, leaving, leaving early, miss, relationship, should, wife, work, work life, work-life balance
Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

0

5 months ago

annoyance, doing, humor, life, need, people, relationships, sarcasm, sometimes, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

98 shares on Slack this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

78 shares on Slack this month:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Just landed via Facebook:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Going bananas on Instagram:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Going viral on Telegram:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨