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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Just shared via Pinterest:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Breaking via Messenger:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Making waves on Messenger:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Just landed via Threads:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶🎉 "I walked into a holiday party, excited to mingle, only to find my soulmate playing with the dog like it's the last piece of cake! Guess I need to paws and rethink my social game plan. Who knew my competition would be a four-legged furry charmer? 🤷‍♂️🐾 #DoggoStealsTheShow"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Spotted on Slack:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Just shared via Reddit:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Spotted on Reddit:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Broadcasted on Slack:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Shared recently on Discord:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Reported on X:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Making waves on Discord:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Making waves on TikTok:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Spotted on Threads:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

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