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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Live now on Discord:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Spotted on X:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Trending via Slack:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Financial goal: Wallet of wonder, where blessings overflow like a leaky faucet! 💸🤲😄"

aspiration, blessing, comedy, faith, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pockets, stability, stable, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

0

2 months ago

humor, Jersey, joke, know, mispronunciation, nude, play, play on words, pronounce, words
Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

0

2 months ago

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

0

2 months ago

advice, battle, empathy, everyone, fighting, humor, interaction, know, meet, nothing, sarcasm, saying, social, social interaction, tired, understanding, worse
You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

0

2 months ago

advice, breakup, broke, couple, Google, humor, relationship, should
Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work
I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, color, confusion, difference, even, fear, gray, grey, humor, i, know, language, scared, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

54 shares on X this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Just shared via X:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Going viral on Messenger:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Going bananas on Slack:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Going viral on X:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Making waves on YouTube:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Just shared via Slack:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨