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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Making waves on Discord:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Trending via Slack:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Trending via Instagram:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Spotted on X:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Making waves on Messenger:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Just shared via YouTube:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Witty quote about financial stability and divine blessings, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Financial goal: Wallet of wonder, where blessings overflow like a leaky faucet! 💸🤲😄"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

32 shares on Slack this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Spotted on WeChat:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Making waves on TikTok:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Just shared via Telegram:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Spotted on Facebook:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Making waves on X:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

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