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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,993

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Spotted on Threads:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Broadcasted on X:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Live now on Twitch:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"

back, dark, dark humor, humor, humorist, i, imagination, joke, just, kid, kids, looks, parenting, put, sarcasm, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

1 month ago
addicted, caffeine, coffee, humor, me
“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

1 month ago
always, broke, budget, financial, humor, irony, sale, shopping, spending
You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

1 month ago
always, cleaning, companionship, everyday, everyday life, humor, laundry, life, loneliness, support, think
Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

1 month ago
advice, doors, humor, life, life advice, lot, me, motivation, open, pull, push, wordplay, words
Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

1 month ago
activity, adventure, boring, climbing, cold, death, dumb, everest, fun, fun activity, just, looks, mount, Mount Everest, opinion, personal, personal opinion, risk, super, thanks, uphill, walk
Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

1 month ago
anxiety, basic, coping, health, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, looking, mental, mental health, recommend, recommendation, self-help, someone, thought, thoughts

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Just shared via Threads:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Live now on Slack:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

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Activity Log ✨

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

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I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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