Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Making waves on Slack:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Just landed via Discord:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"

back, dark, dark humor, humor, humorist, i, imagination, joke, just, kid, kids, looks, parenting, put, sarcasm, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

0

2 months ago

adulting, better, day, Friday, humor, life, life realization, Monday, off day, realization, week, work, work week
I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

0

2 months ago

casual, casual speech, coming, crazy, going, humor, invitation, me, speech
I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

0

2 months ago

air, air quote, apology, friends, friendship, humor, i, interaction, said, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, used
As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

0

6 days ago

child, childhood, drug, drugs, expectation, free, free drug, humor, i, impression, much, reality, stranger, strangers, times
Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

0

2 months ago

creativity, drug, drugs, game, good, humor, jokes, just, name, naming, oh, prescription, prescription drug, pretty, random, randomness, Scrabble, sounds, sure, word, word game
I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

0

2 months ago

communication, even, expert, Funny, funny story, having, humor, joke, language, mistake, story, storytelling, tell, wording

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

42 shares on X this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

40 shares on X this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

16 shares on Discord this month:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Spreading quickly via X:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Live now on Messenger:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Seen just now on YouTube:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Spotted on TikTok:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Seen just now on Discord:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨