Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Going bananas on Facebook:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Spotted on Discord:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Going bananas on Messenger:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Just shared via X:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Trending via YouTube:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Shared recently on X:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Proof that my body can multitask: sleep and be at work simultaneously! 💤😅 #SleepWorkBalance"

alarm, confusion, deep, humor, i, late, morning, panic, relief, sleep, thinking, wake, wake up, woke, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

2 months ago

fast, fast food, food, good, good health, health, humor, irony, making, McDonald’s, promotion, unaffordable
I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

2 months ago

here, humor, i, just, presence, sarcasm, wish
My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

2 months ago

accident, briefcase, dropped, humor, lawyer, legal, legal profession, nunchuk, profession, surprise
Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

2 months ago

couch, expression, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online therapy, social, social media, therapist, therapy, Twitter
Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

11 hours ago

anyone, cloak, fantasy, harry, Harry Potter, humor, invisibility, invisibility cloak, joke, magic, potter, seen, wizard
Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

16 hours ago

fall, humor, i, leg, Lil, okay, personification, season, showing, weather

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

97 shares on X this month:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Trending via Discord:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Spotted on YouTube:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Live now on Snapchat:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Keep the laugh going 😂

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨