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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Breaking via Reddit:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Trending via Pinterest:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Spotted on Telegram:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Trending via Reddit:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about financial anxiety with playful, witty wording on a text image.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Pretty sure my bank account's therapist is on speed dial! 😂💸 #FinancialAnxiety"

account, anxiety, attack, bank, bank account, financial, financial stress, humor, i, me, money, panic, panic attack, personification, stress, wonder

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54 shares on Messenger this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

10 shares on X this month:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

17 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I love having plans to cancel.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Just landed via YouTube:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Seen just now on Discord:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Going viral on TikTok:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Netflix & by yourself.

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Keep the laugh going 😂

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Netflix & by yourself.

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨