Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Spotted on Threads:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Trending via Twitch:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Socks today? Well, at least it's not another fruitcake! 🎁🧦😂"

daily, daily life, day, every, everyday, gift, humor, humor quote, life, sarcasm, socks, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

0

2 months ago

backflip, dream, forever, funny dream, just, memory, show, someone, stranger, surprise, unexpected, unexpected visitor, visitor
What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

0

2 months ago

bleak, bleak life, drink, experience, funny experience, humor, joy, laugh, laughter, life, mishap, never, nose, shoot
Fifty shades of I miss you.

0

2 months ago

fifty, humor, i, longing, love, miss, missing, missing someone, parody, pun, relationship, shades, someone, wordplay
I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

0

3 months ago

bet, communication, email, feeling, finds, humor, i, inner, inner feeling, inside, screaming, silence, stress
Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

0

2 months ago

brightness, children, family, home, humor, light, lights, never, turn
Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

0

2 months ago

back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

73 shares on X this month:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

13 shares on Twitch this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

47 shares on X this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Seen just now on Reddit:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Trending via Discord:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going viral on Threads:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Going viral on Pinterest:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Spotted on Telegram:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Going viral on Slack:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Trending via Reddit:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Fifty shades of I miss you.

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨