Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.