Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Just shared via Facebook:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Going viral on Telegram:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Trending via Instagram:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Spotted on X:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Just landed via Reddit:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"This comment is clear as a bell, just like my knees during a storm! 😂🎤🌧️"

Adele, culture, hello, humor, i, joke, knee, knees, lionel, Lionel Richie, music, music reference, pop, pop culture, prediction, reference, richie, sing, think, weather, weather prediction, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

0

2 months ago

fashion, fun, fun sock, humor, husband, marriage, relationship, sock, socks, year’s
You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

0

2 months ago

action, day, every, Facebook, fix, humor, media, social, social media, stupid, watch
Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

0

2 months ago

childhood, decisions, hard, hard way, humor, parenting, playtime, toddler
As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

0

2 months ago

away, brownie, dessert, even, humor, i, mischievous, moonwalk, notice, stealing, stealth, stolen, unnoticed
Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

0

2 months ago

communication, education, first grade, grade, handwriting, kid, kids, note, parenting, stress, teacher
This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

0

5 months ago

activity, after, art, back, bring, call-in, calling, drunk, fan, fan activity, football, football season, game, getting, local, lost, lost art, need, radio, radio show, season, show, Teams

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

55 shares on Threads this month:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

49 shares on Discord this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

62 shares on X this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Seen just now on X:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Going viral on Reddit:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Broadcasted on X:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨