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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Just landed via Reddit:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Live now on Pinterest:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Just shared via TikTok:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Trending via Reddit:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about blindfolded archery, playful and humorous, encouraging adventurous fun.

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Commentary:
"Blindfold archery: Where the real challenge is finding out what you just destroyed! 🎯😂 #AddingAdventurousTwist"

activity, adventure, archery, blindfold, blindfold archery, challenge, fun, fun activity, give, humor, know, missing, new, outdoor, outdoor activity, risk, should, things, tried, trying, trying new things, uniqueness

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Discord this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

27 shares on X this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Just landed via Threads:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Just shared via WeChat:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Shared recently on X:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Just shared via Discord:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Shared recently on Discord:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Shared recently on TikTok:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Live now on Messenger:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

You should be able to call in sad to work.

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You should be able to call in sad to work.

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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