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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Trending via Messenger:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Breaking via Telegram:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Just landed via X:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text highlighting modern convenience, imagining the chaos of late-night horse rides home.

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Commentary:
Galloping home at 3 a.m.? I'd need a horse with GPS and a coffee IV! 🐴☕️😂

3, am, back, car, cars, club, coming, glad, horse, humor, imagine, invention, late, late night, night, riding, transportation

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

55 shares on X this month:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Making waves on Reddit:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Breaking via Discord:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Just landed via Twitch:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨