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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Spotted on Instagram:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

0
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.
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Commentary:
Turning pain into art, 280 characters at a time! 🖊️😂📱

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

60 shares on Discord this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

60 shares on Facebook this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Trending via Instagram:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Spotted on WeChat:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Just landed via Slack:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

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