Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️‍♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷‍♀️👀

age, even, humor, ID, jealousy, Jolene, love, love triangle, man, met, never, old, relationship, triangle, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

0

2 months ago

counter, eating, flamingo, kitchen, kitchen counter, standing, vibe, watermelon
Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

0

2 months ago

activity, aggression, building, face, fun, fun activity, humor, i, playful, playful aggression, punch, snowman, winter
Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

0

2 months ago

50s, age, age joke, aging, asleep, couch, fall, humor, joke, moment, relaxation, retirement, sitting, sleep, welcome
For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

0

2 months ago

control, expectations, humor, ID, irony, life, once, self-control, spiral
“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

0

5 months ago

American, American humor, Americans, burger, food, food metaphor, Funny, funny phrase, humor, imagine, joke, language, metaphor, nothing, nothing burger, phrase
Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

0

2 months ago

advice, date, food, guys, humor, hungry, just, pantry, relationships, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

58 shares on X this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Trending via TikTok:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Seen just now on X:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Trending via Reddit:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Making waves on Instagram:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Just landed via Reddit:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨