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Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️‍♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷‍♀️👀

age, even, humor, ID, jealousy, Jolene, love, love triangle, man, met, never, old, relationship, triangle, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

1 month ago
ad, ad break, adrenaline, away, back, break, call, childhood, excitement, feel, furniture, high, high stakes, i, kids, know, Netflix, never, nostalgia, over, racing, running, screaming, send, sibling, sorry, stakes, time, TV
Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

4 months ago
breadstick, comparison, crust, devour, eating, eating habit, food, food comparison, food preference, habit, humor, pan, people, pizza, preference
People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

1 month ago
city, culture, humor, just, music, nostalgia, people, rock, roll
I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

1 month ago
boyfriend, dating, dilemma, drive, humor, i, purse, put, relationship, want, where
My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

1 month ago
advice, always, case, fitness, humor, just, karma, kickboxing, life, life advice, preparedness, same, self-defense, take, wait
I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

3 months ago
anger, emotion, every, got, hotness, hotter, humor, i, mad, man, me, relationship, thinking, time, wish, wishful, wishful thinking

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Just landed via Messenger:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Spotted on YouTube:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Wordgag ツ

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I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

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I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏