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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Just landed via Facebook:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Making waves on Twitch:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Just shared via Discord:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Live now on Reddit:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Spotted on X:

Long story short, I survived.

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Whimsical words about tiny woodland living and secret freedom, full of playful charm and humor.
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Commentary:
That sounds like the ultimate introvert's dream vacation! 🍄🏡🥣✨

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

74 shares on X this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts hug you from the inside.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,760

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just landed via Telegram:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Making waves on WeChat:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Spotted on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Making waves on Threads:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Just landed via Discord:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Just landed via Slack:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Spotted on Slack:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

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