In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

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If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

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I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

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Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

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I have friends in high places (birds).

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I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

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Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

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New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

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I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

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Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

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I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.