Trendy Funny Quotes

  • An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.
  • Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
  • These aliens are taking forever.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.
  • Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.