Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Just landed via Telegram:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Going viral on Discord:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Just landed via Twitch:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Breaking via Slack:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Live now on Instagram:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Trending via Snapchat:

Earth is hard.

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds about right! One app for the red carpet, the other for the shoes on the ground! 🎤👠📸

celebrity, comparison, culture, humor, influencer, Instagram, internet, internet culture, media, platform, platform comparison, run, social, social media, street, streets, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

0

2 months ago

actually, affection, else, humor, i, love, me, meant, realization, relationship, self, self-love, someone, want
Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

0

2 months ago

30, building, even, foot, height, humor, irony, just, nature, permit, regulation, tree
At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

0

2 months ago

age, break, fear, heartbreak, hip, humor, life, priorities
Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, cheese, comfort, comfort food, eat, eating, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, shredded, shredded cheese, snack, sometimes, straight
“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

0

2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, never, parenting, spoiler, yes
What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

0

2 months ago

course, humor, learn, learning, medical, medical school, name, not taking seriously, patients, school, seriously, take, taking, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

35 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

32 shares on Slack this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

74 shares on X this month:

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Going viral on Slack:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Freshly posted on X:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨